Most parents love their kids more than anything. They want to see them succeed, compete, and be great. But here’s the hard truth nobody likes to say out loud: parents can become the number one reason a young athlete loses confidence, passion, and growth — without even knowing it. Not because they don’t care, but because they care in the wrong way.
Living Through Their Kid
When a parent treats every game like a scholarship audition, the kid stops playing to get better and starts playing not to disappoint. Comments like “You need to score more” or “You’re better than that kid” make them believe that their value equals their stat line. They stop enjoying the game and start surviving it.
Coaching from the Stands
Let me be blunt: if you’re yelling instructions during the game, you’re not helping — you’re confusing. The athlete has one coach during practice and suddenly two during games. Coach says run the play, parent yells shoot it, and the kid locks up. They’re no longer playing basketball. They’re trying to make two people happy at once and failing both.
Obsessing Over Points and Minutes
Parents focus on points, minutes, and wins, not effort or improvement. They rarely ask, “Did you hustle?” or “Were you a good teammate?” Instead, it’s “How many points did you score?” or “Why aren’t you starting?” Defense, attitude, leadership, and basketball IQ get ignored. Players chase highlights instead of growth.
The Car Ride Home
The car ride home is where confidence dies. “You should’ve scored more,” “Why do you keep missing?” and “I don’t know why you’re not aggressive” may sound like motivation, but what kids hear is: I only make my parents proud when I’m perfect. Eventually, it’s not fun anymore. It’s pressure.
What Great Sports Parents Do
Great parents support effort, not outcome. “I love your hustle today. Keep working.” They let the coach coach. Even if they disagree, they stay silent because growth is bigger than ego. They ask the right questions: “Did you have fun?” “Did you compete?” “What did you learn?” And they teach resilience, not excuses. No blaming refs, coaches, or teammates.
We’re on the Same Team
A kid with supportive parents and strong coaches becomes unstoppable — in sports and in life. Your child doesn’t need another critic. They need someone to remind them that failure is part of the process. You don’t need to be their coach. You don’t need to be their judge. Be their belief.
That’s how champions are built.
– Coach Bennett / HYPE Sports